i. a simple way to let you go

Your musky and green smells captured me and put me in the cage of admiration towards you. You always tell me that you have the same nose as Fabrice Pellegrin, the brain behind your favorite perfume that you worship the most. Well, can I disagree with that? Because as far as I know, no one is like you.

All my friends know the way you run around in my head at all times I open my eyes. Because every time I see someone wearing Nike Air Force, I will abruptly say, “Oh, he has them too.” When I go window shopping and meet black hoodies put on display, I will make a mini dry run in my brain on how you will look wearing those. It might sound lame, but I love to see you strolling around the park with your little dog who likes to wag its tail happily. The warmth you radiate when you are around going through me like sunshine in the winter. It makes me feel secure. At this point, shouldn’t you be a bit responsible? For making me preoccupied all the time.

Wait, should you? Or was it just me who mistook all the weather reports you texted to me? Oh, crap! What about the mini-concert we had in the middle of the night? Do you remember how we sat in the dim-lighted room; telling stories from time to time? Because I do remember that time vividly. It was the third week of December, and I hung around at your house for dinner. You cooked me spaghetti and some kinds of fritters; I brought you a bucket of flowers and cheap wine that I bought in a local shop. We both agreed that it was the worst wine we’d ever had, but ended up drinking the whole bottle. I don’t really call how we ended up having a karaoke night, but your radio blasted in our room incredibly loud that your neighbors knocked on your door three times; the knocks made us giggle. Oddly yet fascinatingly, it was the time I started to be fond of the wacky giggle that you produce with your mouth opened widely. You tend to lean your body forward when you laugh —reducing the space between us which enables me to feel the warmth of your body. You have to know that you caught my attention perfectly and that I could not even leave your eyes without your consent.

Now hear me out, you need to… no, you must make a simple tutorial of the way letting you go. I am barely able to think, so please, make it for me as I know very well that we won’t ever be together. [chtrn]